tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716443587185617804.post4423158594690909763..comments2023-10-31T11:01:21.161-05:00Comments on *Lynnette Labelle* @Chatterbox Chitchat: Kiera Bryant's CritiqueLynnette Labellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03227593491562480538noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716443587185617804.post-42668717967151628542010-09-22T18:08:51.286-05:002010-09-22T18:08:51.286-05:00Thanks SO much for the awesome critique, Lynnette!...Thanks SO much for the awesome critique, Lynnette! I'll definitely be working more on the hook. I also agree with and like a lot of your suggestions. Verbs that end with -ing are a big weakness of mine, and I'm just learning that a lot of editors HATE them! I'm trying to watch them as much as possible. I'm excited to see what reworking this will do for me. <br /><br />The main thing I'll be taking to heart is the "showing" and note "telling". I recently critiqued the work of a friend, and all of telling I found really rubbed me wrong. Now that it's been pointed out that I have the same issue, I'm going to really brush that up! <br /><br />Thank you again! This is a wonderful resource and I encourage others to come forth and offer themselves up for guinea pigdom!<br /><br />:o)<br />KieraKimberly Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455273191027158979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716443587185617804.post-4227523109906777902010-09-22T15:36:10.636-05:002010-09-22T15:36:10.636-05:00Glad you got it all worked out! :)Glad you got it all worked out! :)Roni Lorenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02719679344024635326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716443587185617804.post-57312266373379334302010-09-22T15:28:12.891-05:002010-09-22T15:28:12.891-05:00I loved your suggestions!! Especially some of the ...I loved your suggestions!! Especially some of the tightening.Terri Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07771622379178654235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716443587185617804.post-21089440644896279602010-09-22T13:20:10.708-05:002010-09-22T13:20:10.708-05:00Great critique! The story sounds interesting and I...Great critique! The story sounds interesting and I definitely want to keep reading. But I agree about the beginning...not hooky enough to pull the reader in from the very first sentence.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401931638397651614noreply@blogger.com