Monday, December 17, 2007

Characters for my New Novel or the Real Deal?

Unfortunately, these are real people. Check them out!

1. Full juvenile probation officer: ate 32 vending machine items in one day, consuming 7,000 calories, to raise $300 for charity. Will she be reimbursed for her medical bills after that feast?

2. Irrational cola employees: a Coca Cola and a Pepsi employee got into a punching parade in the aisle of an Indiana Wal-Mart—over shelf space!

3. Single robber: after robbing a Domino’s Pizza delivery woman, he called her and asked her on a date. Can we say: “Clueless”?

4. Comfortable carpenter: was seen pounding nails and cutting wood naked. He claims he keeps his clothes clean that way and it’s more comfortable. He doesn’t have to worry so much about hammering his thumb now.

5. Deceptive Taco Bell employee: passed himself off as an undercover cop and told the general manager, two shift managers and another employee they were going to be arrested. Reality check. Impersonating an officer only got him arrested.

6. Rich assembly worker: stole 1 million screws (about 7,000 a day) and sold them on the internet. It took the company two years to figure this out?

7. Dumb deputy: was charged by her own husband for driving under the influence. So, we know the law, but it doesn’t apply to us? Tsk, tsk.

8. Crazy car dealership owner: killed two employees because they kept asking for a raise. He claims he was under a lot of financial stress. He no longer has to worry about financial stress problems.

Suddenly, life doesn't seem so bad, does it?

1 comment:

  1. People in general are nuts. We recently had a guy around here walk into a bank and try to rob it...with the robbery note written on the back of a deposit slip from his that particular bank branch.

    Morons! You can't write characters that do such crazy crap without making readers think "Yeah, right."