Jeanne Fritz's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Jeanne Fritz's critiqued query letter. She has since revised it and I've critiqued it again.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Jeanne Fritz - Query Crit 2 - A Safe Place in Hell

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com

Query Critique of Jeanne Fritz's A SAFE PLACE IN HELL

Here's my critique of Jeanne Fritz's query for A SAFE PLACE IN HELL. Thanks to Jeanne for volunteering. Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.


Jeanne Fritz - Query Crit 1 - A Safe Place in Hell

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com

Holly Vance's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Holly Vance's critiqued query letter. She has since revised it and I've critiqued it again.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Holly Vance - Query Crit 2 - The Artist


Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com

Cherie Reich's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Cherie Reich's critiqued query letter. She has since revised it and I've critiqued it again.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.


Cherie Reich - Query Crit 2 of Virtuoso

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.



Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Query Critique of Holly Vance's THE ARTIST

Holly Vance won a query critique from a certain freelance editor. Okay, it's me. Feel free to add to my critique, agree with it, or disagree. Reading is subjective and, to a certain extent, so is editing. Here is her original query and below it, the edited version.

Click on the link to see a larger view.

Holly Vance - Query of The Artist


Here's the edited version:

Holly Vance-Query Crit 1-The Artist


Apparently, Scribd has changed something because you can no longer see the document on my blog, which is very disappointing. However, if you click on the link, it should take you there.

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com

Query Crit of Virtuoso by Cherie Reich

Cherie Reich won the Crusaders' first challenge and a critique of her query letter from me. Feel free to add to my critique, agree with it, or disagree. Reading is subjective and, to a certain extent, so is editing. Here is her original query and below it, the edited version.

Please click on the link to see a larger view.

CherieReich Virtuoso Query

Here is the edited version:

Cherie Reich - Query Crit 1 of Virtuoso


Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts).  If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you.  I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book.  Contact me for more information or visit my site.



Lynnette Labelle

http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Josh Trapani's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Josh Trapani's critiqued query letter. He has since revised it and I've critiqued it again. Here are both versions, so you can see the difference between them. I'll post the old version first.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.
Josh Trapani's Query 1


Here's Josh's newest version of his query letter.

Josh Trapani's Query 2

Thanks again for volunteering, Josh.  Next week, I'll post a critique of the first 500 words of a writer's story.  Who's story?  You'll have to come back and find out. ;)

What did you think of Josh's revisions? Any suggestions on how he can further improve his query?

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing and will soon teach online group courses. The first course Hook, Line, and Sinker is coming soon. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Critique of Josh Trapani's Query Letter

Here's my critique of Josh Trapani's query letter. Thanks to Josh for volunteering. Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Josh Trapani's Query 1

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing and will soon teach online group courses. The first course Hook, Line, and Sinker is coming soon. Contact me for more information or visit my site.



Lynnette Labelle

http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Kimberle Swaak's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Kimberle Swaak's critiqued query letter. She has since revised it and I've critiqued it again. Here are both versions, so you can see the difference between them. I'll post the old version first.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.


Kimberle Swaak's Query 1


Here's Kimberle's newest version of her query letter.


Kimberle Swaak's Query 2

Thanks again for volunteering, Kimberle. The next winner of the query contest will have his/her query critiqued a week from today. Watch for it.

What did you think of Kimberle's revisions? Any suggestions on how she can further improve her query?


Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing and will soon teach online group courses. The first course Hook, Line, and Sinker is coming soon. Contact me for more information or visit my site.


Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Critique of Kimberle Swaak's Query Letter

Here's my critique of Kimberle Swaak's query letter. Thanks to Kimberle for volunteering. Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.
Kimberle Swaak's Query 1


Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing and will soon teach online group courses.  The first course Hook, Line, and Sinker is coming soon. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Jennifer Johnson's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Jennifer Johnson's critiqued query letter. She has since revised it and I've critiqued it again. Here are both versions, so you can see the difference between them. I'll post the old version first.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Jennifer Johnson's Query 1

Here's Jennifer's newest version of her query letter.

Jennifer Johnson's Query 2

Thanks again for volunteering, Jennifer. The next winner of the query contest will have his/her query critiqued a week from today. Watch for it.


What did you think of Jennifer's revisions? Any suggestions on how she can further improve her query?

Critique of Jennifer Johnson's Query Letter

Here's my critique of Jennifer Johnson's query letter. Thanks to Jennifer for volunteering. Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Jennifer Johnson's Query 1

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle

http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Donna Hole's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Donna Hole's critiqued query letter.  She has since revised it and I've critiqued it again.  Here are both versions, so you can see the difference between them.  I'll post the old version first.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.


Donna Hole's Query 1


Here's Donna's newest version of her query letter:

Donna Hole's Query 2

Thanks again for volunteering, Donna.  The next winner of the query contest will have his/her query critiqued a week from today.  Watch for it.

What did you think of Donna's revisions?  Any suggestions on how she can further improve her query?

Query Critique #1: Donna Hole's Query

Congratulations to Donna Hole for winning a query critique on my blog.  Donna has agreed to revise and resubmit her query so I can post its before and after.  Hopefully, others will learn from the process.  Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.


Donna Hole's Query 1


Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com/

Query Contest Winners

I've gone through everyone's GMCs, descriptions, and query letters. Thanks for taking the time to enter the contest and send in your work. Unfortunately, most of you haven't grasped the concept of GMCs. I suggest you look into this. As I've said before, I offer a one-on-one course on GMCs, and Debra Dixon has the best book out there on the subject. Please take the time to learn and understand goals, motivations, and conflicts. I promise your book will be much better because of it.

That being said, I plan on giving everyone a single line suggestion on how to improve their query letter, so watch for that in your mailbox. I'm busy right now, so this might take a while, but I will get to everyone. As for the winners, I'll post your edited query in the next week or two. Congratualtions!

The list of winners (in no particular order) are:

-Jennifer
-Josh
-Kimberle
-Donna

Congratulations again and watch for those critiques.

Note: I haven't sent out emails to those who didn't win. There are simply too many of you. I'll be sending you a personal, single line critique, so eventually, you'll hear from me. Plus, if you're reading this, you already know the contest results. Thanks again for entering. I simply couldn't pick everyone.

For more information on my editorial services, visit my site at: www.labelleseditorialservices.com

 Tomorrow, I'll post the next blog critique and then I'm on vacation until Monday. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Don't eat too much. ;)