Cherie Reich won the Crusaders' first challenge and a critique of her query letter from me. Feel free to add to my critique, agree with it, or disagree. Reading is subjective and, to a certain extent, so is editing. Here is her original query and below it, the edited version.
Please click on the link to see a larger view.
CherieReich Virtuoso Query
Here is the edited version:
Cherie Reich - Query Crit 1 of Virtuoso
Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.