Holly Vance won a query critique from a certain freelance editor. Okay, it's me. Feel free to add to my critique, agree with it, or disagree. Reading is subjective and, to a certain extent, so is editing. Here is her original query and below it, the edited version.
Click on the link to see a larger view.
Holly Vance - Query of The Artist
Here's the edited version:
Holly Vance-Query Crit 1-The Artist
Apparently, Scribd has changed something because you can no longer see the document on my blog, which is very disappointing. However, if you click on the link, it should take you there.
Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a certified copyeditor and proofreader. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. One way to make query writing easier is to have a clear understanding of your main character(s)'s GMCs (goals, motivations, conflicts). If you're struggling with GMCs, I have a one-on-one class for you. I teach the GMC course at your pace and help you discover the GMCs for your book. Contact me for more information or visit my site.