Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Blog Crit of TATTOO MY HEART by Suzie Quint

Here's my blog critique of TATTOO MY HEART by Suzie Quint. Thanks to Suzie for volunteering. Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Blog Crit of Tattoo My Heart by Suzie Quint

The text and critique are only posted on this blog and not on a true public forum. Next Wednesday, I'll critique again.

If you're interested in a critique, send your first 500 words to me at lynnette_labelle at hotmail dot com. Please put "Blog Critique" in the subject, so I know it's not spam. Let me know the genre of the sample and whether or not I have permission to use your name. There are a few people still waiting for crits, so your piece will be added to the queue. I'll let you know roughly how long it'll be once I receive your sample.

Please note: I'm only accepting one sample per person at this time.

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle


  1. Oops! I have technical problem. No reputible tattooist would give a person that had been drinking a tat. The alcohol makes the tat bleed like crazy, making it hard to do a decent job.

    Suzi<-- tattooed lady

  2. Interesting, Suzi. I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing!

    Lynnette Labelle

  3. I think this was awesome-very good voice. But this scene could probably go better after the important moment/change happens, and the protagonist looks back on it. Sort of like, "And to think only a few hours ago I was putting a tattoo on a rich drunk guy.." Only not exactly in those words. ;)

    Great read!

  4. Yes, this is a very detailed description of the two men in her parlor. But doesn't tell me anything about Bo that I'd like to know to feel a connection to her.

    She interests me mostly by her occupation. That says she is an engaging character, with perhaps an adventureous past. Her description doesn't have to be overt. You could easily show her through the lay out of her work environment and some internal reasongs for the arrangements.

    Why she notices specific details about the customers could fill in a lot of gaps about who Bo is and set up your inciting incident without flat out stating it.

    You're very good with descriptions. I think you could use that strength to your advantage.