Monday, November 29, 2010

Query Critique #1: Donna Hole's Query

Congratulations to Donna Hole for winning a query critique on my blog.  Donna has agreed to revise and resubmit her query so I can post its before and after.  Hopefully, others will learn from the process.  Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Donna Hole's Query 1

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle


  1. Veeery interesting, especially the remark about finding the voice, as that's the part I am struggling with.

  2. Wow; you rock Lynette. Thanks for your comments.

    I'll work on this and get it back to you.


  3. The story line had me interested, but I agree, just a little more voice!

  4. Thanks Kim and Oddy for your comments.

    I'm really struggling with voice right now. I wonder if the novel has the same problem. I know the two sequels do.

    So much to work on. I appreciate all the help I can get.