Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Critique of Josh Trapani's Query Letter

Here's my critique of Josh Trapani's query letter. Thanks to Josh for volunteering. Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree. Reading is subjective, and to a certain degree, so is editing.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Josh Trapani's Query 1

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing and will soon teach online group courses. The first course Hook, Line, and Sinker is coming soon. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

Lynnette Labelle


  1. Thank you, Lynnette! Lots of useful feedback here. Any other readers with opinions?

    I will take another stab at it and send my revision within a week.

    Thanks again.

  2. good crit! i'd follow the advice :)

  3. That was very useful. It is always good to read an expert's view on specific query letters.

  4. I thought it was intriguing, but I agree that more voice was needed.

  5. At first, all the pink was daunting. But it was great advice. I can see a lot of good value there. I agree about the voice.