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About Me
- Lynnette Labelle
- Lynnette Labelle is a freelance editor with over fifteen years of experience. She’s the owner of Labelle’s Writing on the Wall, an editing and coaching service for writers. Her clients range from new writers to New York Times and USA Today best-selling authors like Roni Loren, Rebecca Hamilton, and Cristin Harber. Lynnette works with writers seeking traditional publishing and indie authors. She specializes in developmental and line editing combos as well as manuscript evaluations. She helps writers create hooky query letters and strong synopses, and teaches several writing classes. If you're looking for a freelance editor, check out her website: www.labelleseditorialservices.com
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I liked it!
ReplyDeleteI don't typically read this genre, so keep that in mind...
But I thought it established who your MC was nicely, and gave a bit of that lightness early on with her sarcastic comment at the end.
I'm good with this beginning so far. I was one of those who picked a quicker beginning with the hero and heroine meeting as quickly as possible. But I like what you have here. I would definitely go on to read more because I am curious about the MC. I want to know more about her insecurities and her fortes.
ReplyDeleteI like it. I'm really out of my genre here, so I'm not sure if that helps. :)
ReplyDeleteNice! I want to turn the page. Really I do.
ReplyDeleteI never read romance, so my opinion might not count. I think the second paragraph is more compelling than the first. More hookish.
ReplyDeleteFrom my own writing, I know I sometimes get into "the zone" somewhere after the first chapter. When that happens, I try out diff. chaps as the lead, just to see how they sound.
I loved it especially your detail--excellent as I could picture each scene. I want to be able to do that!
ReplyDeleteLiked her dialouge too.
I like it. It's not my usual genre, but I would be interested in reading more. I have to agree here though, that the first paragraph really didn't do anything for me. The second one however, had much more "hook" to it. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback! We'll see what you think about option #2.
ReplyDeleteLynnette Labelle
I love this beginning. It sounds exactly like something I would read! And I could just see her falling, her stuff flying, and nobody paying any attention. Very funny, but I mean, sad in a way??? Should I say that? Or is it okay it okay that I thought it was funny? LOL
ReplyDeleteI like the you realize this genre starts with very little dialogue and more scene setting. While I'm not a fan of this type of intro, I know that it's common.
ReplyDeleteI like how the scene is being set here...we've already learned quite a bit about where the heroine lives/works.