Thursday, May 7, 2009

Beginning: Option #1

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10 comments:

  1. I liked it!

    I don't typically read this genre, so keep that in mind...

    But I thought it established who your MC was nicely, and gave a bit of that lightness early on with her sarcastic comment at the end.

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  2. I'm good with this beginning so far. I was one of those who picked a quicker beginning with the hero and heroine meeting as quickly as possible. But I like what you have here. I would definitely go on to read more because I am curious about the MC. I want to know more about her insecurities and her fortes.

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  3. I like it. I'm really out of my genre here, so I'm not sure if that helps. :)

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  4. Nice! I want to turn the page. Really I do.

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  5. I never read romance, so my opinion might not count. I think the second paragraph is more compelling than the first. More hookish.

    From my own writing, I know I sometimes get into "the zone" somewhere after the first chapter. When that happens, I try out diff. chaps as the lead, just to see how they sound.

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  6. I loved it especially your detail--excellent as I could picture each scene. I want to be able to do that!
    Liked her dialouge too.

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  7. I like it. It's not my usual genre, but I would be interested in reading more. I have to agree here though, that the first paragraph really didn't do anything for me. The second one however, had much more "hook" to it. Good job.

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  8. Thanks for the feedback! We'll see what you think about option #2.

    Lynnette Labelle

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  9. I love this beginning. It sounds exactly like something I would read! And I could just see her falling, her stuff flying, and nobody paying any attention. Very funny, but I mean, sad in a way??? Should I say that? Or is it okay it okay that I thought it was funny? LOL

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  10. I like the you realize this genre starts with very little dialogue and more scene setting. While I'm not a fan of this type of intro, I know that it's common.

    I like how the scene is being set here...we've already learned quite a bit about where the heroine lives/works.

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