Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Kiera Bryant's Critique

Here's my first blog critique.  Thanks to Kiera Bryant for volunteering and to Roni Griffin for helping me figure out the technical side of posting my edit.  Feel free to add to my crit, agree with it or disagree.  Reading is subjective and, to a certain degree, so is editing.  That's my new mantra.  Like it? 

Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Blog Critique the Sanguine Chronicles by Kiera Bryant

Please note that the text and critique are only posted on this blog and not on a true public forum.  Next Wednesday, I'll critique again.


  1. Great critique! The story sounds interesting and I definitely want to keep reading. But I agree about the beginning...not hooky enough to pull the reader in from the very first sentence.

  2. I loved your suggestions!! Especially some of the tightening.

  3. Thanks SO much for the awesome critique, Lynnette! I'll definitely be working more on the hook. I also agree with and like a lot of your suggestions. Verbs that end with -ing are a big weakness of mine, and I'm just learning that a lot of editors HATE them! I'm trying to watch them as much as possible. I'm excited to see what reworking this will do for me.

    The main thing I'll be taking to heart is the "showing" and note "telling". I recently critiqued the work of a friend, and all of telling I found really rubbed me wrong. Now that it's been pointed out that I have the same issue, I'm going to really brush that up!

    Thank you again! This is a wonderful resource and I encourage others to come forth and offer themselves up for guinea pigdom!